Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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