Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
