tell your sister to shave her snatch
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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