just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
