Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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