so explain again why im purple
no
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
