Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
