wrigley field is MILF paradise
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Drake has all the answers
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
