wrigley field is MILF paradise
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
