Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
