I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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