What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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