just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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