just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Semen is not good for contacts.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
