it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
