I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
