why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
