Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
