i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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