so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
birth control should be required to get into college
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize