He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
