You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
