Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
