If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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