I can tuck mytits in my pants
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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