I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
