What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
