New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
COCAINE IS GR8
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
