Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
