Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
