you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You were trust falling into bushes
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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