Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
