You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
