I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
