Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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