You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
