Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
