hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
