I want to make a zoo with you.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
