i would punch a child for taco bell
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
third nipple confirmed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
