Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
