It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He kissed a someone with a penis
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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