Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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