Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
