I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
