Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
