my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
