I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
