the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
In other news, I just burned my penis
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
