i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my shit smells like andre
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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