why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My vagina is officially offended.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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