her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
