Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
